After divorcing myself from a marriage that was build on unequal Give and Take, I had to rebuild my confidence and self image. I was identified as the Mother, that gives unconditionally, regularly burning out. Yes, It took me more then one burn out. I’m a Taurus in my sun and an Aries in my moon sign. Two horns, a lot of will and yes I can move mountains, once I set my eye on it. When I was younger however It didn’t matter how often I ran against walls to tear them down. My energy was limitless. Now in my 40’s I have to recuperate much longer. But my consciousness of what is possible sometimes hasn’t caught up to my bodys age. I am getting there.
I recently found myself in taking on jobs, I wanted to try out. Things I had never done before and that didn’t require any of my previous interests or education. Like working at an organic gluten free bakery that sends their left overs to food sharing. The salary was low, but I didn’t just do it for the money, I went there because I thought it’s a new experience. What I learned there is how much more I will appreciate the hard work that goes into such a business, built by people that have a vision based on standards conventional companies could learn from. Of course there were imbalances in the structure, however it had soul.
I came to understand that it is not an option to let others decide over my time and what I do with it. Life is so precious and we are the leaders of our life. We need to take action on our hearts calling. That is an act of self love.
The hardest thing for me lately was the to say NO in a relationship. It felt almost impossible to say it. I didn’t want to disappoint the other, having the feeling, when I say no the world will end or some other horror scenario. Turns out the world is still spinning and there will be plenty of NO’s coming in the future. But it’s true, the NO to someone else is the Yes to yourself, when situations aren’t honouring your time and energy in a way that feels right. So trust your gut!
Act loving towards yourself first and it will reflect a new future.
I hope this helps, feel free to write me your experience and we can share it some way shape or form to empower others as well.
Much love,
Mandy
